Do you find yourself struggling to stick to habits, even when they promise the path to success? You're not alone. The truth is, many of us embark on journeys guided by goals that don't align with our true selves. We're enticed by someone else's success story, a best-selling book's promise, or societal expectations. However, here's the reality check: superficial goals often lead to unsustainable habits.
The Superficial Goal Trap: Superficial goals, those set for reasons other than our own, lack the deeper motivators necessary to make habits stick. Whether it's chasing someone else's version of success or following a step-by-step guide from a self-help book, these goals often leave us feeling disconnected and unfulfilled.
Why Superficial Goals Falter:
1. Lack of Authentic Connection: Superficial goals lack a genuine connection to our inner selves. They don't resonate with our core values, passions, or deep wounds that are in need of healing. Our motivation starts to dwindle as time goes on (for me... about a week) because we're not working towards something that truly matters to us on a much deeper level.
2. External Validation: When we chase goals for external validation, we have a greater risk of disappointment. The problem with this is that other people's version of success varies from person to person, and can also change based on our performance, others around us (comparison), or even their mood! If you don't receive the praise and accolades you were expecting, it can leave you feeling empty... And for high-achievers like us, the bar is set pretty darn high!
3. Resilience Deficit: Superficial goals lack the resilience that authentic goals naturally have. When the going gets tough, and it will, we're more likely to give up on superficial goals because they don't provide the deeper "WHY" motivation it takes to overcome obstacles.
4. Short-Term Focus: Superficial goals often focus on short-term gains rather than long-term fulfillment. We are an instant gratification population! If we don't see leaps and bounds within a short amount of time, we decide it's not working and give up! We are constantly looking for the quick fix... and that's just not what lasting success looks like. Even the "overnight sensations" have been perfecting their craft for YEARS in the dark while nobody even knew who they were.
The Path to Authentic Habits:
So, how do we build habits that stick? The answer is in self-clarity and aligning your goals with your deeper reasons for desiring change. It's about understanding your authentic self and defining your personal version of success.
1. Self-Clarity: Take the time to gain self-clarity. Reflect on your values, passions, and what truly drives you. What are your core beliefs, and what kind of life do you genuinely desire? The clearer you are about your authentic self, the easier it becomes to set meaningful goals.
2. Align with Your 'Why': Align your goals with your 'why'—the deeper reasons behind your desire for change. When your goals resonate with your core values and aspirations, you'll find that motivation and discipline flow more naturally. And I'm not just talking about the superficial weaponized "WHY" of network marketing. This is not to be used to compare your life to others or use your kids as a guilt trip to working yourself to death. This is your genuine why from your wounds that are healing to drive you forward for YOUR goals! Not the benefit of someone else's goals. Be careful with this one and don't let anyone use this against you.
I can help you find your authentic WHY in my FREE guide called Rediscovering Me! Find it in the shop!
3. Sustainable Change: This is the path to habits that not only stick but thrive. It's how you can achieve peaceful productivity without burnout and design a life that aligns with your unique definition of success.
In a world filled with external influences and superficial promises, finding your authentic path may take time, but the rewards are immeasurable. By setting goals that resonate with your true self, you're not just changing habits; you're transforming your life in a way that feels aligned, fulfilling, and genuinely yours. When you experience this inner peace, you won't give a flying you-know-what about what others think or what they are doing. I love helping women design a life you don't have to escape from!
Stay Sparkly Sweet Sisters!