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The Mean Girls in Real Life

Hey there, Sweet Sister!

It's your girl, Brandi.

Today, I'm diving deep into a topic that's been weighing on my heart lately: how we, as women, treat each other.

Now, we've had our fair share of conversations about self-love and comparison in this blog, but I want to shift the focus to how we view and interact with other women. It all started at this event I attended recently where the speaker delved into the power of community and the way we perceive ourselves and others. This speaker was Heidi Calmus, the wife of Dude Dad, which is a growing comedy phenomenon in Northern Colorado and nationwide. You can find her on Instagram @heidicalmus.

This was an event completely by women, for women. If you are from the front range, attend an event by NOCO Women in Business. You won't be disappointed. There were over 100 high quality women of business there that evening. When Heidi asked how we feel walking into a room full of women, many of us admitted to feeling insecure or inadequate. People used words like fat, ugly, not enough, imposter syndrome, poser, too old, too young, don't know anyone, insecure, who's going to want to hang out with me, etc.

But when asked how we view other women in the same room, the responses were eye-opening. Some women were quick to judge, critiquing appearances or making snap assumptions about personalities.

Here's the thing we all need to realize: we're all in this together, navigating our own insecurities and challenges. So why do we feel the need to tear each other down instead of building each other up?

I was fortunate enough to be raised by a mom who always found something positive to say about others, and it's a habit I've tried to carry forward. However, not everyone adopts the same approach. I was genuinely taken aback to learn that some women resort to negative thoughts and judgments about women they have never even met.

Let's get real for a sec: those judgments often stem from our own insecurities projected onto others. And trust me, I've been guilty of it too.

I've had my own share of struggles, particularly after my divorce, when a smear campaign left me questioning how others perceived me. It made me hyper-aware of body language and quick to misinterpret intentions. But through that journey, I've come to realize the importance of self-reflection and healing. Because when we heal ourselves, we're less likely to project our insecurities onto others.

I have a dream... lol. Seriously though. I do have a dream of a world where women support and uplift each other without judgment or gossip. I really do think we can create this, but it requires us to do the inner work and choose kindness over criticism.

So next time you come across a woman who is different than you, or that you don't understand, or cannot read, instead of focusing on flaws or differences, try to see the beauty and strength within her. And if you catch yourself entertaining negative thoughts, take a moment to reflect on where those thoughts are coming from. Your thoughts about her might actually be revealing something you need to sit with inside yourself.

Together, we can cultivate a community of empowered, supportive women who lift each other up and radiate positivity. So let's commit to being the change we wish to see in the world.

That's a wrap for today, Sweet Sisters.

Remember to stay sparkly and help others sparkle too.

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