We all have heard the saying, "Fake it til you make it!" and I get it. I understand what the meaning of it is. It encourages believing in yourself before you feel equipped to actually be the person you are trying to be...
And I'm not trying to be difficult or drum up drama...
but...
I HATE THAT PHRASE SO MUCH!!!
"Fake it til you make it."
There is so much wrong with this to me.
First of all, the very phrase implies that right now, at this very moment, you don't have what it takes to "make it". It is insinuating that you need to act like you are either a different version of yourself, or that you need to act like someone else in order to accomplish your goal that you have set. As a mindset coach, this is dangerous to me, because it breeds imposter syndrome.
Imposter syndrome is running rampant right now, especially in the small business and social media world. People are trying to make a living, using skills they've acquired, yet they feel like they are either not skilled ENOUGH or they feel like they lack experience or credentials.
Of course there are certain professions where you have to have certain credentials, but then there are those that just require confidence, a willingness to try, and the fact that you only need to be one step ahead of who you're teaching to make a positive difference in their life.
You don't need to be an expert to start. You just have to know and love what you are doing.
Second fact regarding the phrase, "Fake it til you make it" is that you should never really "make it" if you are trying to make an impact on the world.
There is science behind the pursuit of happiness. The very pursuit is what MAKES you happy. The end goal actually provides you with zero dopamine. That's the feel good hormone of reward and success. You only get secretions of dopamine when you are I pursuit of your goal. When you're finished, it stops. That's why olympians will sometimes feel depressed after they have won that medal and broken that record. There is nothing left to work toward.
The third thing I absolutely can't stand about that phrase is that it encourages one to be more like other people that are already doing what they are doing. Don't get me wrong, I'm a huge proponent for the find-someone-who's-done-it-before-and-do-what-they-do idea. I use it myself and it is an amazing tool. However... it wasn't meant to facilitate clones.
You are NOT supposed to completely copy and model anyone else's business strategies, culture or processes. Now obviously there are fundamentals to use for any endeavor and we would be silly to reinvent the wheel or go against the grain... right?
That's where I'd love for you to tap into your creativity. Reinvent some stuff! LOL! If what is being done by your peers isn't working for you... DON'T DO IT!
Social Media not working? Don't do it!
Newsletters draining you? Don't send them.
Holiday discounts becoming more of a hassle than a help? Don't have them!
Listen, you have got to realize that you are one in 400 trillion! You cannot expect to run your business, your life, or yourself like ANYONE else!
Don't try to be like your friend over there. She's doing amazing and we are so happy for her... but we need you!
There is no other person on this entire planet that can do what you do, the way you do it. So we need you! And we need you your way.
It's time to fall in love with that woman in the mirror and finally let her loose!
Don't fake it til you make it! Be it til they see it!
That way, there's no timeline, no person you have to be, and no milestone you have to reach.
You just get to be YOU until YOU become the buzz. Don't try and change to fit the fad, because as soon as you catch up, it'll change. Sound familiar? Like the last 20 years of your life? Yeah us too. You are not alone!
Be it til they see it!
Stay Sparkly Sweet Sister!